Nothing embarrasses me more than ...

... typos, grammatical errors and absent-minded apostrophe use in my OWN POSTS. It just goes to show how the brain can let you down. At least one has the opportunity to go back and fix these 'grammar sins' and hope that no-one saw. But sometimes it is too late. Oh calamity.

Such faux pas are deemed even worse when you try to make a living from editing and publishing. Things I often do absent-mindedly in my own writing include inserting the wrong homophone, e.g. elicit OR illicit | new OR knew. I know the right one to use; I am just in a super hurry to get the post written and clearly not paying as much attention as I should.

Just thinking I should apologise for some of the errors that have snuck in. SORRY!

Reflection

It's very late. I'm supposed to be working while the household sleeps. And I've just about nailed one of my books that had a deadline some weeks ago! Anyway, here I am watching Dateline and again, hoping my little Christmas Island buddy is mentally OK up there with all that craziness.

I've been reflecting of late.
I've been thinking how much better I feel since I started this blog. I don't feel anywhere near as melancholic as the past few months. I'm too scared to even read some of my earlier posts.

I feel really good. I've got so much to look forward to. But I still miss my friend. A lot. So much so that I've realised there is something from stopping me from getting down to her neck of the woods to see my other very good friend. My long-suffering dearest, bestest friend since aged 5. But hopefully this Friday. Hopefully.

I also miss my OTHER FRIENDS who are no longer walking on this planet. I hate the fact that some people have to die young for whatever reason. And I shudder to think what they must think, if they are looking down from that great cocktail bar in the sky, when they see me moping about depressed and miserable with my life that has nothing wrong with it. Wouldn't they love to give me a good kick. Even I would like to give me a good kick, upon reflection.

If only my brain didn't have to go through those periods. I'm ashamed that I have spent days, even weeks, possibly whole YEARS like that. Where nothing makes you feel good.

I thank all my lovely friends who have been such a good support. And my current beautiful family and my 'original' beautiful family.
And all I can say, is that if you are feeling blue, do go and get help. It can so easily be treated. And when I am feeling like that again in the future--and yes, it's inevitable that this will recur--SOMEONE please tell me that I am back there in that horrid place so that I can acknowledge it and move on up again. HM tells me, and tells me and tells me and tells, but I take AGES to listen. We always think we are prepared for NEXT TIME but invariably, there's that nonsense again and days and days of madness. Those crazy months of me in some weird land. That no one else is allowed into. Irrational World. And it's IMPOSSIBLE trying to rationalise anything with an irrational person.

And then when I am good. EVERYONE is good.

Even the kids did the right thing tonight at bedtime.

 Beat the blues, tell a friend or tell me or at least look up BEYOND BLUE.

Columnists

Yes unsubscribe now. It's continuing. Insane blog posts are coming at a rate faster than ever before. However, no more whinging. Definitely no more whinging about my lovely family. And no more whinging about my first world problems.

Life can be so cruel.

My current columnist-icon of choice is Nikki Gemmell. She's not new of course and I've been reading her columns in The Australian right from the beginning, but she is now THE ONE I turn to, before anything else, on a Sunday over my mid-morning coffee. And she doesn't feel the need to have a full size pic of herself in gaudy fashion plastered in the middle of her column. She's also a long-time favourite author. And yes, it's [OH MY] fifty shades of decent writing. Having said that, I was a tad dismayed to see that she's changed the covers of her fabulous books to look almost exactly like some other tomes that I will refrain from mentioning. Holy crap. But good for her--she deserves the recent rerun of literary success as a result of THOSE books.

ORIGINAL COVERS

NEW COVERS

Changing tack somewhat, a dear friend alerted me to my alter ego online today. Check it out - she is Sane Jane and is some kind of "organiser". She comes around and de-clutters your life. Love it.

So who's your favourite columnist/author?

High on life

Today is glorious. It's the perfect spring day but it's in August.

It's just amazing how much the weather seems to affect my moods, struggling for a long time with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) which I am sure many, many people do. Am thankful I don't live in Finland.

Today am on top of the world. Have taken Barnstormer to Ballet, have sat in the sun and watched Hammerhead get the wax off all the surfboards and am now trying to finish my mountain of housework blog uninterrupted while HM and F-i-l watch the football. I even spent five minutes chatting pleasantly to the [usually] cranky deli owner about the weather.

Today I am as high as the Eiffel Tower.

Friday rant

It's only 11.17am and things aren't good.  Day started at 6.30am with HM firing up the iPad (next to me in bed) as I snoozed. What makes him think it is OK to start streaming a surf comp from Tahiti at full volume at that time? It is still dark. Not even the little people are awake and I've got an over the top American surfer accent blaring in my ear. What's more, HM seems to think that I am INTERESTED in this comp and fully expected me to wake up and lean lovingly on his shoulder, oohing and aahing over the various manoeuvres on display. What is it with surfers????????

If Kelly's not in it I don't want to know about it.

Anyway, I went seriously mental at him and suggested that he use the earphones that are right next to the iPad. I even implied what he could DO with those earphones if he didn't put an end to the nonsense immediately. He acted all surprised at my attitude. And all this coming from a man who cannot handle me (silently) reading my iPhone in bed at night!!!

OK, then I get up and find that Barnstormer and Hammerhead have done a spot of rearranging in their bedroom while I was snoozing and HM was in Tahiti. Their room is chaotic: the slats are off one bed, there's mattresses blocking the doorway, there's a whole pile of bags with "clothes that are too big for them" strewn all over the floor and every single book has been taken out of the bookshelf. One of Hammerhead's t-shirt drawers has been emptied. When I [somewhat angrily] enquired as to WHY the redecorating, Hammerhead calmly pointed out that they were merely looking for his "favourite white colourful t-shirt" which had gone down the side of Barnstormer's bed! Hmmmph.

I'm an angry bear today!

Then there's more chaos at breakfast time which I won't go into. But it was something like this without the drop-in.

This was shortly followed up by an email from the publisher re manuscript. Except it's now from the "editor" that has been assigned to the project. Apparently, lots and lots more stuff to take on board. The sort of stuff that should have been mentioned up front. Can I amend 77 pages of manuscript by early this afternoon, Eastern Standard Time? As in NOW. Do they not know that we're behind them?

The fact that I am blogging right now should clearly imply that NO, it is not going to happen.

Every single room in the house looks ransacked. Hammerhead has rekindled a love affair with all of the toys that I'd secretly culled yesterday while he was at Kindy and put into a large bag that should have gone into my car boot last night. Wants to know why they're in what he calls a RUBBISH bag. Is suspicious that they are being removed without consultation. We are talking about toys he played with when he was six months old. He is accusatory in tone. He has arranged them all neatly in the lounge room and is guarding them fiercely. He even gave up a ride to a cafe with Barnstormer so as to protect the haul.

The day must get better. And the day will end with wine. How's your day?

I'm back

I've sent Hammerhead back to kindy today after what seems like an eternity of him being at home with a virus. He's been relatively fine, for the last week anyway, but seems to need a nap around lunchtime that goes for about three hours. He has had an extremely high temperature and has been so SO very sleepy--did an 18-hour straight stint the other day.


While he's been "sick" this last week he's become heavily addicted to a game on my phone. Yes he's moved on from Angry Birds. This one is called Where's My Perry? and he would happily play it in a locked room with no food all day. In the meantime, I've unfortunately become heavily addicted to the background music from this game. It's like some cool 60s TV show theme song. Although it's totally stuck in my head now and I'm kind of over it. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do about the phone addiction. He had a mild meltdown when I drove off and left my phone at someone's house the other day. And even worse, the other day he told me he would rather stay home all day and play on the phone than go to kindy. And he LOVES kindy. I've created a nerd. I want my boy back NOW.

Meanwhile HM has had minor surgery. I was so wrapped up in my own work deadlines and loads of washing that I totally forgot he was having it. When he returned home, I didn't even ask how it went. Instead I asked if he had booked a doctor's appointment for Hammerhead. It wasn't until several hours later when HM had severely carked it on the couch, and was demanding the strongest painkillers EVER, that I realised something was up. WIFE OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO ME.


Poor HM. He puts up with so much. Apparently if it's not in an email or a text then I don't know about it. Anyway, once I remembered the surgery and the stitches I was VERY sympathetic and waited on him hand and foot. I'm still waiting on him hand and foot. I'm thinking now he's going to milk it in payback. Apparently the stitches don't come out till next Monday so it's another week of servant behaviour. All the things he normally does cannot be done. The wound is right in that crucial spot of the torso that makes any kind of twisting and lifting excruciating. He can't laugh, he can't get up and retrieve the remote, he can't surf and he can't put the dishes away. He can't even use the coffee machine which means we've had to drink my mediocre offerings. I swear the coffee machine hates me and deliberately stuffs up my attempts.

The Surfer has done exceptionally well of late. SO well that he too has come down sick with some kind of bug. Aside from winning all the local comps, he's representing the school in the State Schools comp. Which means he's better than all the Year 10s, 11s and 12s at the school. Boasting moi, much?

Barnstormer--my little tough nut tomboy girl --has become a ballerina. She's been inspired by the rhythmic gymnasts in London. She's off doing ballet now with a ballet company that has some strict rules. NO parents watching the girls through the window of the studio. NO buying the cheap versions of the uniform from Target instead of the posh and expensive ballet boutique. NO being late. NO ladders in stockings. Hair MUST be in a bun, with non-descript clips if necessary. If I buy the full uniform from the posh shop, I'm looking at $200 plus. Target is going to be a quarter of that. I'm going with Target. I mean what's the worst that can happen? Will the lovely teacher go ballistic? (sorry, that pun is bad I know.).

This sign is tutu cute for words!

I know I am supposed to write posts that illicit some sort of response. I can never think of anything to ask. I just waffle on. I will say this, I have been reading around on the blogosphere and it seems almost everyone I read is having some kind of motivation problem with blogging. Odd that everyone was saying it at the same time. Must be something in the stars.

It's not you, it's me

Dearest Blog,

You've been so good to me these last couple of months. I just can't thank you enough. No really, I can't. However, I won't be able to see you for a while because I am knee deep in work. Yes, sadly I have gone into my stupid can't-say-no mode which means every part of my life has to go on hold. I know it sounds bad but I just got offered a job that needs to be done by Monday, which is going to pay as much as I'll get for that silly non-book I've been working on. I hope you understand. I had to say yes, just to recover my losses. I'll definitely be back to spend some time with you soon. Hopefully next week.

Meanwhile, have a coffee. How gorgeous is this?

Love from IJ x

All is quiet

This is just a quick post today. Yes, I know what you're thinking --"she always says that and then it turns into some epic rant". But seriously, just wanted to say that all is good again. I am feeling really good with everything on my current plate. I can see the wood for the trees, I can stop to smell the roses and all of that.

Sometimes I stop typing to smell the roses

Everyone is OUT which means I have some time to get some serious cleaning work done. Hammerhead has been rather ill this week which has meant lots of mummy-as-slave time and also visits to doctor/chemist stuff. Think he's now on the mend. He's been extremely hot and cold, ULTRA lethargic and gosh, the house is quiet when he's down. Yesterday he wanted me to just sit with him and talk. But he wanted me to do all the talking. I couldn't for the life of me think of anything to say (!). He wanted a monologue, but not a story. He was very specific about what I couldn't talk about but lean on what I could. I am used to being given something to work with but I got nothing. JUST TALK, he said. ABOUT STUFF. The shoe was so on the other foot.

Remember I have two, so I get double this amount of questions.

I am not working all hours anymore, thank you to all messages of concern. Yesterday I even had time for a family morning trip to the new look Trigg Island Café--a place where we have spent A LOT of time over the years, solely because of its location. However, I have to say that with the new KAILIS ownership, it is the first time that I think the café has it happening. It actually looks like it is breathing in the right decade. It's all white and clean lines with touches of aqua and a few Rusty surfboards hanging from the walls. The place reeked of fresh paint (love that smell) and the staff are attired in rather interesting squeaky clean uniforms. They all have to wear the exact same not-quite-happening jeans which I thought was a tad banal, especially when I saw the big boss man wearing them with his black skivvy. Was not looking his sartorial best as one should in his position.

And of course, as with any "new" café, there were more staff than customers. They were buzzing around us like flies, sweeping crumbs up as soon as Barnstormer dropped them and I saw one staff member engaged in that dead giveaway that too many staff are rostered on--the act of cleaning the seals on the fridges with a toothbrush. How dirty can they be after three days of business??? Anyway, an all-round pleasant experience and I'm sure all creases will be ironed out soon. So nice to have a decent café at the only surf break in town, as opposed to just an OK one.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. xx